pikku pin. ﾐﾐﾐREAL OR DREAM?

blogspot blog !

Fri, 02 Dec 2011 16:01:06 +0900

http://pikkupin.blogspot.com" />

this old man created a blogspot blog, focusing mainly on gyaru~

http://pikkupin.blogspot.com

PR: レノボ DO.プロジェクト

Fri, 02 Dec 2011 16:01:06 +0900

中田英寿と一緒に大きな夢に挑んでみないか？

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just to make this clear~

Sun, 30 Oct 2011 13:05:16 +0900

follow me @

LIVEJOURNAL

TUMBLR

i will NOT use this blog anymore,
haven't used it in months lol :'---D

tumblr.

Tue, 11 Oct 2011 22:49:04 +0900

http://pikkupin.tumblr.com/

OH NO HE DIDN'T.

PR: シーテックジャパン2011ドコモスペシャルサイト

Tue, 11 Oct 2011 22:49:04 +0900

ドコモスペシャルサイトオープン！最先端の技術を駆使した出展物が盛りだくさん！

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viantie.

Sat, 20 Aug 2011 12:31:40 +0900

hoi hyvät veljet !

Fri, 19 Aug 2011 11:35:30 +0900

hia everyone! :--3

i was supposed to make a video but right now i've got too many things
to stress about so i think this is faster and easier just to write everything
i need to say !

so i'm back but i will most likely not update much before tracon is over because
wll WOOPS but i didn't know it was on week 35 :''----D
and i'm gonna be working there, there will be this hostess/hosto club and i still
have no idea how in earth am i gonna be able to stay awake to 4am................
so ya, i kinda have the outfit, now i just need to bring those two pieces together
and then i was some BLING to the outfit and shoes i also need to decorate~
we're having Q's meeting on sunday 28th day so i also need some outfit there as well.. D:

ANYWAY !
so starting from tomorrow, i will no longer update my ameblo because i want to move
my way too big ass back to LJ for good. i know LJ is liek soooo last season and everyone's
at blogspot but i find that place somehow cold and lonely place o.o all the communities
are on LJ and also the commenting system @ blogspot is RIDICULOUS. i can't believe blog
hosting place so popular haven't made any progress to make the commenting easier !
it sucks that when you post your comment there, no one can directly comment back to you
and i want the good communication system LJ has. also, i've had my blog there as viantie
from 2007 (i started it some months before i found out gyaru !!11) so it's already my
second home and i wouldn't want to start all over again D:
so that's my LJ!

also i will be allowing anon comments without IP tracking BUT let's use the other brains
your mama gave ya okay? hating me anonymous will not help neither one of us so let's save
both yours and mine time and focus on something that we both like, shall we?
all comments will first be screened in case someone has something private to say and also
to keep that trash out of my VERY HIGH QUALITY BLOG !

what else.. OH imageshack has decided that 95% of all pictures i have posted on other
places than my blog are against the terms of the service LÅLÅLÅLÅ so you can't see those
pictures :''-D i checked Q's page tho and all those pictures were visible but not the
pictures on the contact page i have so i don't know what's the deal with that o.o
so ya, if you see picture with that annoying "THIS PICTURE IS VIOLATING blaah blaah" i
hope you'd let me know where it is and i'll upload the picture to another server~
i think i'll take the contact page i have down now since you can comment on my LJ..
(ps. on Q's site, nana finally has her profile up! 8--D sorry for the delay~ sorry mainly
to nana tho, not to other people :'D)

um..
too many things to say 8'D
so ya, when i move to LJ for good starting from tomorrow, i will also change the layout
and explain little about that one section i will be building up as soon as possible !
right now i am terrified of school starting waaaay too soon and also about tracon and
million other things to do D: good thing is at least now i have place to sleep during
tracon, puni and i will be going to omena hotel so *relief* but still, TOO MANY THINGS TO DO D<

i am super nervous about the university BUT i heard that i could arrange so that i will
not be called as 'pinja' there but i could actually be called and i guess also study under
name 'eemil' for example. (that jos oisin tosi khuul ni valitsisin jonkun hienon sir-alkuisen
nimen..)
so that would be another relief because i'd really want to have clean start there and i think
it would also help me in future since i will be starting the hormonal treatment while i am
studying there~
PS. i needed to cancel the diagnosis thing, i would've had an appointment on the same day school
starts so FIAGFISGIDFUGBSOIFB.
i don't even want to know how long i need to wait to get new
appointment and even still, i'm probably gonna have to miss school because that stupid place
closes at FOUR PM which i think is ridiculous..

but more about university... i've had horrible nightmares
about me trying to fit in and when i finally make my place in one group, i realize people around me
are speaking finnish but i cannot understand what they are talking about and half of the words
are words i don't know. i know that's not gonna be the real deal but i'm scared i'll not fit in.
for the first time my entire life i'm scared i will be alone. i know i won't be because i get easily along
with many types of people but still..
and i don't even have SCHOOL BAG yet DDDDD:
i was also supposed to be skinny when i go to school but i'v just been binging and binging andhagdsagfisufsidhs.
well whatever, i'm the only one who's bothered by my weight anyway so i guess
it doesn't matter so much. i will most likely lose some weight anyway when i get back to the normal
routine i haven't had in two and half years~
i need to get these boobs smaller, binding with big breasts really hurts..

yesterday i tried new make up and i also made new lower lashes using some crappy, too short
and pretty much invisible lower lashes i bought from japan as a base and then i used eylure's
individual lashes to create the fuller and separated lashes ! those came out FANTASTIC, i have
no idea why i haven't try this earlier! :O
and also i have been giving new life to my blond wig which is probably the worst wig i've owned,
it went to so bad condition in no time but luckily i was manage to bring it back alive again! :--3
i think i'll make tutorial on wigs (how to style your new wig and also how to give new life to your old wig)
as soon as possible but meanwhile, why don't you enjoy my beauty !

that's all for now, i probably will remember half of the things i was SUPPOSED to say in the first entry after hiatus but oh well :''D i'll update them later then! i will nevertheless make bigger update tomorrow, some pictures from that one month oh silence and little bit what i was up to during that time ! :---3

PR: 【フランチャイズ比較ネット】低リスクな新規ビジネスを

Fri, 19 Aug 2011 11:35:30 +0900

リスクを抑えて新規ビジネスを始めるならフランチャイズ。100社以上の厳選FC本部

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norge.

Mon, 25 Jul 2011 19:20:42 +0900

this comes a bit late i guess
but i'm so sorry about what happened in norway.
i don't know what to think.
i mean, norway.
how can things like this happen in NORWAY?
finns are stubborn bitches, that's obvious
but norwegians! they've never done anyone anything !
this is just disgusting....
and it is weird because i wasn't really shocked
about the school shootings here (i guess i just knew it would
happen some day anyway..) but this makes me so sad..
i wish i could hug norway and make it feel better somehow..
i don't know what else to say, this is one of the rare things
that pisses me off so much i don't have words to explain it.

Herra Filosofian Maisteri.

Tue, 19 Jul 2011 11:42:14 +0900

an important update:

i got two 'yes' from the universities
but only one of them made me cry like anything never before.
helsinki my love, i'm not going anywhere<3
i look like 60 years old tramp @ 11am because of crying and
i'm shaking like an addict ~

musta tulee humanisti.
musta tulee Herra Filosofian Maisteri.
eikä mikä tahansa Herra Filosofian Maisteri
vaan Herra Filosofian Maisteri Helsingin Yliopistossa.
now THIS is what i call an ego boost !
for so long i was thinking there's something wrong with my brains because
i just study and study but i remember nothing and i just... i just don't know
how to make it any better.
i try and try and always fail.
but now..
i'm not gonna fill that student file thing yet, my hands are shaking too much
and i don't even remember my address or name at the moment.

i'm on the list
http://www.helsinki.fi/hum/opiskelijavalinnat/paavalinta/valitut.htm

elina:
"rahvas väistää pää kumarassa kun näkevät sun kävelevän kohti.
as they should!!!!1"

[end of the very important entry]

H I A T U S.

Mon, 18 Jul 2011 18:27:43 +0900

acon 2011 & hiatus

Mon, 18 Jul 2011 18:18:52 +0900

anni kiteytti osuvasti meijän kaikkien vkloppufiilikset:

mistä paikalliset tiesivät ettemme olleet turkulaisia:
meijän ilmeet oli koko ajan "DDDDDDD::::::::::??????!!!!"
8'D
se on hauskaa jälkeenpäin ajateltuna, lauantaina ei kauheesti naurattanu..

so last weekend, 15.-17.7. was acon in turku and well, i must say i certainly
started my preparations very late :'D it was weird..
in 2009 i was preparing for the con sooooo long and now~
but i'm glad i didn't put much effort because it would have totally been wasted D:

on friday we (me, anni, jasmin and tiia) all arrived to turku,
tho me and anni by car and jasmin and tiia by train.
i spent the night at my aunt's place, anni and her family in hotel and jasmin and tiia
in... i don't even know what it was. carbon box? 8'''''D
but at least we all know where NOT to go: a boat called bore !
i mean that is if you don't want to suffocate but in case you want, that's the right
place to go !

so, saturday started by realizing just how many things i really have to use
to create my simple manba look o.o

NATURAL BEAUTY, BEAT THIS !!

after we had our little group formed, we started to follow this poor guy
who turned out to be moses so at least we were in good hands !
luckily he knew the way to the con area (we would've gone to pretty much completely
different way without him :''D) and immediately when we arrived, sweat and
exhausted, people wanted to hug us 8'--D
hugs they'll never forget...............................

we sat there for quite a while without knowing where to go
but after some time i needed water and anni needed to use toilet so we headed to
a "café"~
then we decided to check the con area but honestly, there wasn't much going on there~
people took pictures of us, we tried to find something interesting or at least meet
friends but after some while we gave up and headed back to our dark corner.

before that tho we met lolitas who said their posts to everyday_gyaru were not
accepted because
THEY DIDN'T HAVE CIRCLE LENSES.
and tiia said that that day she was only one wearing lenses of us so WTF !
what kind of reason is that.
what pisses me off most about this is how people actually think you HAVE to
have circle lenses to be gyaru and i think that's just bullshit.. o.o then when there are
these many amazing gyarus without lenses who are trying to fight against those "rules",
moderators of a gyaru community make all that fight useless~
i personally think lenses are just an easy solution to make yourself look more gyaru:
don't have to put so much effort on make up when you have lenses~
[end of circle lens rant]

we didn't take much pictures, we only complained and cried haha 8'''D
but here's 3/4 group pictures!

me: ":--------DDDD"
quite soon after this, we decided it was time for us to go to eat
so we first headed to caribia's hesburger but it was soooo bloody crowded
we decided to make a change to our plans:
first everyone went to their own places to take off all the hair and make up
and change clothes, then we'd meet at ursininkatu's hesburger !

so after about 15 minutes i turned out to look somewhat like this:

tanja's neightbours probably went "o_ô" after that day :'D
starting from the moment we all met at the hesburger,
the atmosphere went A BIT wild and the rest of the evening was
quite hyper before it turned into a real turku nightmare.
we tried so hard to understand but.... MITÄ?

i had really hard time trying to fall asleep.
in fri-sat night i had nightmare about getting to the university there in turku
and and...
i dunno. it's my dream yo study history in university so that i can work in a museum but
i don't know if it's worth it. the more i walked around there i realized the more i'd hate
living there and now i had three people with me who witnessed how there's just something
so weird about turku. something twisted. o.o
and honestly, i'm scared i'll fall deeper where i've ever been before. so deep i might not
even get up anymore~ tampere would've been so much better.......

someone's trying to warn me:

(turku kills!)

and even the con sucked.
luckily i didn't have to pay for any hotels or train tickets so i can't even imagine how pissed
off tiia and jasmin are D:
we asked pretty much everyone who we met if they found the con bad and they said "yes"
so luckily it was not only us ! i think one of the reason was that the area where the con was
held was way too big~ there were like at least four different buildings where the con was
and the buildings weren't even super close to each other o.o
tsukicon 2011,
WE HAVE ALL OUR HOPES ON YOU !

then for HAPPY NEWS !
H I A T U S
i have been waiting this for soooo long but i wanted to wait acon to be over before
going away for a while!
so starting from tomorrow you're not gonna see me in one month~

so what does it mean?
1. i will NOT be updating my blog for a month unless it's something
super important
(super important = naked mana in my room or war)

2. i also won't reply to any questions at formspring~

3. mä varmaan joudun kirjautumaan galleriaan mut en kato muuta ku
q'n yhteisön kommentit.

4. no gyaru_secrets, also note to my friends: if you start talking about g_s
i refuse to hear it! I DON'T WANT TO KNOW~
i haven't decided yet if i will leave loli secrets as well, but... maybe
i'll visit there like every other week or something...

i think that's about it~ i haven't visited at ricoche for ages so it's
quite obvious i will not log in there either.

oh and youtube! no youtube! or i mean, no logging in.

i obviously will be checking my e-mails so if someone has something VERY
important that you NEED to tell me, then you can use that contact form
i have, i'll have link in the end of this entry.

so
why and why now?

i feel very exhausted. it's not only about the transgender things, it's
too many things all together and i feel i have no energy to do anything.
no energy to enjoy this summer which is already almost ending.

i do feel very weak and even pathetic because it looks like i'm the only
one who cannot stand life, but you know, everyone lives their lives and so
they make their own rules.
and i have to do what's best for me.

this is not goodbye, for sure. i have too many ideas for outfits and such,
too many hairs to build so i'm not leaving for good. 8--D
oh no, that ain't gonna happen! but i just need some own time~
i love you, guys, but i need some time for me. just for me.

and i'm very black and white when it comes to some things so when i say i need
my own time i really mean it and i cut myself from all the social networks
and really just focus on major things.
also, my work will be starting soon and i'm quite nervous actually.
it's really hectic and i think it's a bit too much for me.
i'm definitely not as shy as i used to be, but it's still too social and noisy
and jsjhsgfhjafh job for me~ so it causes a lot stress.

and next month it'll be my one year hesburger anniversary which means that
one year ago i was at my lowest. point. ever.
from august to december.
aaaaaand i dun wanna go back there ever again. never. never.

so i think it's best to kinda relax and make sure i'm truly stress-free
because i dun wanna fall that deep ever again.

i'm sure you all know i love gyaru very much and it has given me so much
but it has annoying "side-effects" such as increasing my paranoid moods,
giving me a lot of stress and i still abuse it as a soft landing between me
and reality. i need to live THIS life~
i'll be starting my diagnosis again on aug 29th so i think after that this
escapism will calm down again, but before that it feels like constant battle
between me and pin and pin always wins..
tho, this summer i must say i have been very proud of myself hanging a lot
outside as me which is also sometimes quite scary.
i'm constantly afraid people will see i'm not "real" plus that binding when it's
bloody hot outside is pure hell........ D<
but ya..

after i come back, i'm FINALLY gonna make the changes to the blog which
i've mentioned loooong time ago :'D
this is a plan that has been living for ages now and i'm finally gonna do something
about it!
but that will not be until aug~

so i think that's about it :--3
actually i think i'll put the contact thing on different entry~
see you in one mo;img src="http://desmond.imageshack.us/Himg4/scaled.php?server=4&filename=18071118.png&res=medium" alt="http://desmond.imageshack.us/Himg4/scaled.php?server=4&filename=18071118.png&res=medium" />

mistä paikalliset tiesivät ettemme olleet turkulaisia:
meijän ilmeet oli koko ajan "DDDDDDD::::::::::??????!!!!"
8'D
se on hauskaa jälkeenpäin ajateltuna, lauantaina ei kauheesti naurattanu..

so last weekend, 15.-17.7. was acon in turku and well, i must say i certainly
started my preparations very late :'D it was weird..
in 2009 i was preparing for the con sooooo long and now~
but i'm glad i didn't put much effort because it would have totally been wasted D:

on friday we (me, anni, jasmin and tiia) all arrived to turku,
tho me and anni by car and jasmin and tiia by train.
i spent the night at my aunt's place, anni and her family in hotel and jasmin and tiia
in... i don't even know what it was. carbon box? 8'''''D
but at least we all know where NOT to go: a boat called bore !
i mean that is if you don't want to suffocate but in case you want, that's the right
place to go !

so, saturday started by realizing just how many things i really have to use
to create my simple manba look o.o

NATURAL BEAUTY, BEAT THIS !!

after we had our little group formed, we started to follow this poor guy
who turned out to be moses so at least we were in good hands !
luckily he knew the way to the con area (we would've gone to pretty much completely
different way without him :''D) and immediately when we arrived, sweat and
exhausted, people wanted to hug us 8'--D
hugs they'll never forget...............................

we sat there for quite a while without knowing where to go
but after some time i needed water and anni needed to use toilet so we headed to
a "café"~
then we decided to check the con area but honestly, there wasn't much going on there~
people took pictures of us, we tried to find something interesting or at least meet
friends but after some while we gave up and headed back to our dark corner.

before that tho we met lolitas who said their posts to everyday_gyaru were not
accepted because
THEY DIDN'T HAVE CIRCLE LENSES.
and tiia said that that day she was only one wearing lenses of us so WTF !
what kind of reason is that.
what pisses me off most about this is how people actually think you HAVE to
have circle lenses to be gyaru and i think that's just bullshit.. o.o then when there are
these many amazing gyarus without lenses who are trying to fight against those "rules",
moderators of a gyaru community make all that fight useless~
i personally think lenses are just an easy solution to make yourself look more gyaru:
don't have to put so much effort on make up when you have lenses~
[end of circle lens rant]

we didn't take much pictures, we only complained and cried haha 8'''D
but here's 3/4 group pictures!

me: ":--------DDDD"
quite soon after this, we decided it was time for us to go to eat
so we first headed to caribia's hesburger but it was soooo bloody crowded
we decided to make a change to our plans:
first everyone went to their own places to take off all the hair and make up
and change clothes, then we'd meet at ursininkatu's hesburger !

so after about 15 minutes i turned out to look somewhat like this:

tanja's neightbours probably went "o_ô" after that day :'D
starting from the moment we all met at the hesburger,
the atmosphere went A BIT wild and the rest of the evening was
quite hyper before it turned into a real turku nightmare.
we tried so hard to understand but.... MITÄ?

i had really hard time trying to fall asleep.
in fri-sat night i had nightmare about getting to the university there in turku
and and...
i dunno. it's my dream yo study history in university so that i can work in a museum but
i don't know if it's worth it. the more i walked around there i realized the more i'd hate
living there and now i had three people with me who witnessed how there's just something
so weird about turku. something twisted. o.o
and honestly, i'm scared i'll fall deeper where i've ever been before. so deep i might not
even get up anymore~ tampere would've been so much better.......

someone's trying to warn me:

(turku kills!)

and even the con sucked.
luckily i didn't have to pay for any hotels or train tickets so i can't even imagine how pissed
off tiia and jasmin are D:
we asked pretty much everyone who we met if they found the con bad and they said "yes"
so luckily it was not only us ! i think one of the reason was that the area where the con was
held was way too big~ there were like at least four different buildings where the con was
and the buildings weren't even super close to each other o.o
tsukicon 2011,
WE HAVE ALL OUR HOPES ON YOU !

then for HAPPY NEWS !
H I A T U S
i have been waiting this for soooo long but i wanted to wait acon to be over before
going away for a while!
so starting from tomorrow you're not gonna see me in one month~

so what does it mean?
1. i will NOT be updating my blog for a month unless it's something
super important
(super important = naked mana in my room or war)

2. i also won't reply to any questions at formspring~

3. mä varmaan joudun kirjautumaan galleriaan mut en kato muuta ku
q'n yhteisön kommentit.

4. no gyaru_secrets, also note to my friends: if you start talking about g_s
i refuse to hear it! I DON'T WANT TO KNOW~
i haven't decided yet if i will leave loli secrets as well, but... maybe
i'll visit there like every other week or something...

i think that's about it~ i haven't visited at ricoche for ages so it's
quite obvious i will not log in there either.

oh and youtube! no youtube! or i mean, no logging in.

i obviously will be checking my e-mails so if someone has something VERY
important that you NEED to tell me, then you can use that contact form
i have, i'll have link in the end of this entry.

so
why and why now?

i feel very exhausted. it's not only about the transgender things, it's
too many things all together and i feel i have no energy to do anything.
no energy to enjoy this summer which is already almost ending.

i do feel very weak and even pathetic because it looks like i'm the only
one who cannot stand life, but you know, everyone lives their lives and so
they make their own rules.
and i have to do what's best for me.

this is not goodbye, for sure. i have too many ideas for outfits and such,
too many hairs to build so i'm not leaving for good. 8--D
oh no, that ain;hesburger anniversary which means that
one year ago i was at my lowest. point. ever.
from august to december.
aaaaaand i dun wanna go back there ever again. never. never.

so i think it's best to kinda relax and make sure i'm truly stress-free
because i dun wanna fall that deep ever again.

i'm sure you all know i love gyaru very much and it has given me so much
but it has annoying "side-effects" such as increasing my paranoid moods,
giving me a lot of stress and i still abuse it as a soft landing between me
and reality. i need to live THIS life~
i'll be starting my diagnosis again on aug 29th so i think after that this
escapism will calm down again, but before that it feels like constant battle
between me and pin and pin always wins..
tho, this summer i must say i have been very proud of myself hanging a lot
outside as me which is also sometimes quite scary.
i'm constantly afraid people will see i'm not "real" plus that binding when it's
bloody hot outside is pure hell........ D<
but ya..

after i come back, i'm FINALLY gonna make the changes to the blog which
i've mentioned loooong time ago :'D
this is a plan that has been living for ages now and i'm finally gonna do something
about it!
but that will not be until aug~

so i think that's about it :--3
actually i think i'll put the contact thing on different entry~
see you in one month !

dun dun~

Sun, 17 Jul 2011 16:52:10 +0900

my body knows how to roll:
today when i came back from turku,
i immediately started to feel like i was gonna be sick.
and now my nose is running
and i've got fever<3
it's like i can feel all the stress and worries melt away
and it's like a cleaning process~

acon sucked, but i'm gonna make small post hopefully tomorrow !
and then i'll make a see~you~for~now video before i'm off for a month 8---D

pikku pin. ﾐﾐ ﾐREAL OR DREAM?

blogspot blog !

PR: レノボ DO.プロジェクト

just to make this clear~

tumblr.

PR: シーテックジャパン2011ドコモスペシャルサイト

viantie.

hoi hyvät veljet !

PR: 【フランチャイズ比較ネット】低リスクな新規ビジネスを

norge.

Herra Filosofian Maisteri.

H I A T U S.

acon 2011 & hiatus

dun dun~

pikku pin. ﾐﾐﾐREAL OR DREAM?